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    June 08

    我在昆明的日子

     
        时间过得如此之迅疾,几个月只是弹指之间的事情。我来到了昆明,追逐着我的爱情。这爱情让我苦恼了很长的时间,我拿出了勇往直前义无反顾的姿态,又准备承担随时失败的风险。生活是有风险的,尤其对于我这种不怎么安分的人来说,好或者坏,早有了心理准备。问题是,当一种渴望在内心滋生的时候,我必须去尝试,这是我的生存方式。
        刚来昆明那两天日子确实不好过,不断的妥协,然后是绝望。仿佛我们两个生命不是为了相视而爱,而是为了一种竞争,一种战斗。很明显,痛苦是必然的,也流了好多的眼泪。不过,我的内心深处有一个坚硬的核质,无论什么样的情况我都可以应付。我已经不是少年时代那个四处乱闯,却没有心理准备的毛头小丫头了。我长大了,标志是我能够应付自己的生活,能够为自己的选择负责,包括承担恶果。
        不过,事情到底是往良性的状态发展了,我现在体验着一种幸福的感觉。我喜欢他的坦白,尽管有的时候这种坦白具有伤害性。我喜欢看他的样子,他的眼睛,他对我使坏,他很低调的照顾我,把我批个狗血喷头的同时也很卖力的维护我。当然,我在生活中也并不是非常糟糕的家伙,所以,我们的感觉似乎越来越好了。
        生活是非常有趣的,他使我的生活有了温暖甜蜜的怀抱,这是幸福的事情啊。所以,我是幸运的,茫茫人海之中找到了他,爱上了他。
        我会努力的去爱,因为我不想给自己的人生留下什么悔恨的东西。

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